May 10, 2012

The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 10, 2012



The Onion
Thu May 10, 2012 www.theonion.com

Nation's Moms Invent New Recreational Drug To Worry About 05.10.12

DENVER—A new illicit drug that is incredibly cheap, highly addictive, and extremely easy to produce is appearing in school yards across the country, the fevered imaginations of the nation's mothers who need something to fret over confirmed today. Th...

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Fracking Industry Now Largest Employer Of Recent PR Graduates

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Dogs' Thoughts 'Read' With MRI

"With these sophisticated technologies, we'll be able to use ordinary treats to bend the dog to our will."

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Smoove Is Remodeling

by Smoove B, Love Man

By Smoove B

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Environment-Friendly Hollywood Achieves 91 Percent Recycled Content

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Horoscope »

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

You've tried everything you can think of to stop yourself from gaining weight. Unfortunately, you have your best ideas while eating entire coconut-cream pies.

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