May 8, 2012

The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 08, 2012

The Onion
Tue May 08, 2012

Maya Angelou Thought She'd Be Invited To More White House Stuff 05.08.12

WINSTON-SALEM, NC—Saying that she didn't want to be presumptuous but had thought her celebrated literary career, numerous academic honors, and tireless political activism would put her "pretty high up" on guests lists, Maya Ange...

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Justice Breyer Unable To Look At Anything Without Deliberating Constitutionality Of It

American Voices »

Greeks Reject Bailout-Supporting Politicians

"Aw, it's so cute that the European Central Bank is still letting them play democracy."

opinion »

As Long As My Child Does Something That Makes Him Happy And Wins The National Book Critics Circle Award For Fiction, I'll Be Proud

by Gregory MacIntyre

By Gregory MacIntyre

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FDA Approves Napalm Breast Implants

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— Hon. J. Ernest Kaplan, Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals

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