May 7, 2012

The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 07, 2012

The Onion
Mon May 07, 2012

Paula Deen Sponsors .05K Walk For Diabetes Research 05.07.12

SAVANNAH, GA—Celebrity chef and restaurateur Paula Deen announced Monday that her recently launched Step for a Cure Foundation would host its first annual .05K fun walk on May 20 to raise money for Type 2 diabetes research. The star of the Food Netw...

News in Brief »

Justice Breyer Unable To Look At Anything Without Deliberating Constitutionality Of It

American Voices »

'Supermoon' Biggest Of 2012

"Alas! Just when I desire a night as black as death, the dastardly moon illumines my way and lays bare my plan to thieve my neighbor's pool float."

opinion »

As Long As My Child Does Something That Makes Him Happy And Wins The National Book Critics Circle Award For Fiction, I'll Be Proud

by Gregory MacIntyre

By Gregory MacIntyre

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Study: 72 Percent Of All High-Fives Unwarranted

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— Hon. J. Ernest Kaplan, Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals

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