Apr 20, 2012

The Onion Daily Dispatch - April 20, 2012

The Onion
Fri Apr 20, 2012 www.theonion.com

Wal-Mart Executives Kind Of Weirded Out By Town Not Putting Up Any Resistance To Store Opening 04.20.12

LITTLETON, MA—Staring over a month-old press release announcing the opening of a new Supercenter, senior executives at Wal-Mart said they were a little freaked out that the people of Littleton, MA appear to have made no effort to stop them. ...

News in Brief »

Area Man Proud He Can Still Fit Into Car From High School

American Voices »

Norwegian Mass-Murderer Would Prefer Execution

"He seems pretty miffed about the whole thing. Better let him have this one."

opinion »

Healthy, Nutritious Food Would Have Saved The Titanic

by Michelle Obama

By Michelle Obama

Radio News »

Vatican Tightens Nocturnal Emissions Standards

Follow Us

featured section: »

Letters To The Editor »
Dear The Onion,
I totally got what you guys were saying about each of us having to buck up and be responsible. Thanks.

— Dave Turner, Provo, ID

Most Popular »
If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe.
To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to:
536 Broadway
New York NY, 10012
Please include the email address at which you have been contacted.

All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.