Apr 11, 2012

Daily Dispatch - April 11, 2012

The Onion
Wed Apr 11, 2012 www.theonion.com

U.N. Acquires Nuclear Weapon 01.13.09

NEW YORK—"Tremble before the might of this cooperative assembly of appointed representatives," said Ban Ki-moon, clutching a stack of diplomatic resolutions.

News in Brief »

Gingrich Urges Romney To Drop Out So He Can Focus On General Election

American Voices »

Sony Loses $6.4 Billion

"As soon as an electronics company invents a shower radio that can tune in 90.3, they'll get a sale out of me."

opinion »

I'd Be Happy To Help With Any Herding…

by A Border Collie

By A Border Collie

Radio News »

Vatican Gives Popular Jesus Character Whole New Look

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Horoscope »

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

This is a good time to make big moves at work, as you'll show up Monday to find all the furniture's gone and everyone has relocated to a new office somewhere outside Gary, IN.

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